This is definitely how I feel today, with the exception of a few trusted friends. Everything is just…blah.
Sunday night took absolutely everything out of me. Despite continual disrespect from someone I considered one of my closest friends, I foolishly trusted them. After expressing my feelings multiple times over the last month, their actions on Sunday put me over the edge, and the verbal argument turned into me punching them in the face several times before leaving.
They deserved what they got, and so far everyone who’s heard all the details has said the same exact thing: “I’m proud of you.”
I’m not proud of hitting them. It wasn’t right, but I’m not sorry either.
Monday morning I received a long string of apology text messages, but I had a very hard time believing they were sincere. They claimed they didn’t want there to be any bad blood between us, but if that’s the case, they are going to have to try a lot harder than sending me a few text messages and hoping I accept their bullshit apology.
I don’t want enemies, but I definitely don’t want “friends” like that either.
Both emotionally and physically drained, I’ve spent the last two days at home doing just about nothing. In some ways that’s a good thing because I’m trying to save money for moving, but I can’t move any time soon if I’m not taking care of other things.
I wanted so badly to be productive today, but this fucking rain is making me want to sleep. I definitely need a shower before I can be seen by the public, but I don’t even have the energy to do that.
So instead, here I sit. I’m tired and cranky, hating everyone and everything, and hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
