My Freedom: Setting Things in Motion

Surprisingly, I don’t really have anything to bitch about at the moment. Believe it or not, I actually have good news to share. Fucking crazy, right!?

Exactly one month ago, I was stressing out quite a bit. If you haven’t already read what I wrote then about feeling trapped, you might want to because I don’t feel like giving a full recap right now. Somewhere in the middle of that rant was the following.

With my divorce still pending, I don’t know what’s going to happen…I would just have to cross my fingers and hope that everything works out in my favor.

Waiting sounds simple enough, but I don’t even know how long the whole process is going to take. Neither of us have filed yet, and I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I’m going to have to fire my attorney and find someone else.

But that’s a story for another time.

Today, I finally feel like the end is in sight, so it’s time for that story.

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This is definitely how I feel today, with the exception of a few trusted friends. Everything is just…blah. Sunday night took absolutely everything out of me. Despite continual disrespect from someone I considered one of my closest friends, I foolishly trusted them. After expressing my feelings multiple times over the last month, their actions on Sunday put me over the edge, and the verbal argument turned into me punching them in the face several times before leaving. They deserved what they got, and so far everyone who’s heard all the details has said the same exact thing: “I’m proud of you.” I’m not proud of hitting them. It wasn’t right, but I’m not sorry either.  Monday morning I received a long string of apology text messages, but I had a very hard time believing they were sincere. They claimed they didn’t want there to be any bad blood between us, but if that’s the case, they are going to have to try a lot harder than sending me a few text messages and hoping I accept their bullshit apology. I don’t want enemies, but I definitely don’t want “friends” like that either. Both emotionally and physically drained, I’ve spent the last two days at home doing just about nothing. In some ways that’s a good thing because I’m trying to save money for moving, but I can’t move any time soon if I’m not taking care of other things. I wanted so badly to be productive today, but this fucking rain is making me want to sleep. I definitely need a shower before I can be seen by the public, but I don’t even have the energy to do that. So instead, here I sit. I’m tired and cranky, hating everyone and everything, and hoping tomorrow will be a better day. 
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This is definitely how I feel today, with the exception of a few trusted friends. Everything is just…blah.

Sunday night took absolutely everything out of me. Despite continual disrespect from someone I considered one of my closest friends, I foolishly trusted them. After expressing my feelings multiple times over the last month, their actions on Sunday put me over the edge, and the verbal argument turned into me punching them in the face several times before leaving.

They deserved what they got, and so far everyone who’s heard all the details has said the same exact thing: “I’m proud of you.”

I’m not proud of hitting them. It wasn’t right, but I’m not sorry either. 

Monday morning I received a long string of apology text messages, but I had a very hard time believing they were sincere. They claimed they didn’t want there to be any bad blood between us, but if that’s the case, they are going to have to try a lot harder than sending me a few text messages and hoping I accept their bullshit apology.

I don’t want enemies, but I definitely don’t want “friends” like that either.

Both emotionally and physically drained, I’ve spent the last two days at home doing just about nothing. In some ways that’s a good thing because I’m trying to save money for moving, but I can’t move any time soon if I’m not taking care of other things.

I wanted so badly to be productive today, but this fucking rain is making me want to sleep. I definitely need a shower before I can be seen by the public, but I don’t even have the energy to do that.

So instead, here I sit. I’m tired and cranky, hating everyone and everything, and hoping tomorrow will be a better day. 

This is Why I'll Never be an Adult

Yup, that sounds about right. *sigh*

The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow.

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Yup, that sounds about right. I really should be doing homework right now, something I’ve been putting off all weekend, but instead all I want to do is put on a movie, relax, and pass out.

I’ve really been wearing myself thin lately, making my own downtime take a back seat to my social life, and it’s starting to catch up. I keep telling myself that if I just do my prob/stat work quickly right now, I’ll have the rest of this evening and all tomorrow morning to relax. However, the immediate gratification of a chance to finally kick back and have a peaceful evening starting right now is hard to resist. There’s always tomorrow.